Buy a Maine Coon cover portrait for the story. Keep it for the burnt orange. The cat stares straight back, dressed for a magazine shoot, with hoop earrings and a knotted silk scarf.

Put it on the wall and the room gets a sense of humour. It's playful without being childish, and the warm terracotta backdrop softens the joke so the piece still reads as a proper portrait.

Hangs well above a console in a hallway, over a dressing table, or on a feature wall in a living room. Eye-level works best — the stare is the whole point.

Pairs with cream cable-knit throws, oak or walnut furniture, brass fittings, terracotta pots, and rust or clay-toned textiles.

Don't drown it in other strong faces. One cover star per wall. Printed on premium fine-art paper, ready to frame or order framed.